“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
The house rule has been established. The bar has been set. There is to be absolutely no unforgiveness in the household of God. The family of God is to be a reflection of Him, and this is who He is. As He announced to Moses on Mt. Sinai in Exodus 34:6-7, “The LORD, the LORD God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin . . . .” Forgiveness is part of His very nature. It is an aspect of lovingkindness, which He abounds in. Lovingkindness wants to pour out its goodness on others. It wants to bless. It wants to give joy. In the presence of sin, that requires forgiveness.
That may be true of God, but how can you say “no unforgiveness” amongst His family? It would be unreasonable for Him to hold us to the same standards that He lives up to, wouldn’t it? Certainly there must some offenses for which we are justified to not forgive. This only seems reasonable. I mean, if a person keeps sinning against me, don’t I eventually have the right to hold a grudge? The apostle Peter himself had this question. But look at the answer.
Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22)
Seventy times seven. I.e., never. You don’t even keep track. You just keep forgiving. Jesus taught us this, when He taught us to pray.
“Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’ For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 6:9-15)
But more than just teaching us to do this, Jesus showed us how to do this during His brief life on this planet. No one has ever been more mistreated than He, even though He deserved exactly the opposite. Yet He forgave again and again and again. Remarkably, He even forgave His disciples in advance for the way they would abandon Him and doubt Him when He needed them most. But His forgiving nature shone forth most brightly from the cross. Remember what He said, looking down at the men who had spent the last twelve or more hours beating Him, mistreating Him, sentencing Him to death, and nailing Him to that cross? “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing “ (Luke 23:34)
Wow! That sets the standard. There is no crime that cannot and should not be forgiven. For those of us who call ourselves followers of Christ, no one can commit a sin against us that we cannot and should not forgive. No matter how horrible, how unfair, how undeserved it may seem, we are called to forgive one another “just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
It’s time to be honest with ourselves. We have a hard time doing this. Somehow, even though we ourselves have failed other plenty of times, we still have a hard time when others fail us. When another person hurts us, it is so easy to hang onto it, to hold a grudge, to want to see the other person get theirs. Even when we realize that Christ has called us to follow His example, and we believe Him when He says He has given us the ability to do it, and we commit ourselves to doing so, it can still be so hard to actually forgive our brothers sometimes. How do we do forgive one another? When it comes down to crunch time, and I’m hurt (or worse, angry) at you for what you did, how do I reach the point of actually letting you off the hook. Because that is what forgiveness is. Forgivness says to the perceived offender, “Even though I charge you guilty of committing that crime, I let you off the hook with no further payment. Go in peace.” That is what God in Christ has done for us. How do we do it for one another?
This is a deep subject, and there are no pat answers. There is often emotion involved. Sometimes there is great injustice. But in the end, as is true with most of the difficult yet beautiful things in life, it all comes down to the cross. God doesn’t forgive everyone’s sins – even though He is forgiving in nature. In fact, most of those who have lived on this earth will end up paying for their sins for all of eternity in hell. They will not be forgiven, because God is also just. His justice requires that all sin be paid for. But because of His great love for us, God has provided the means for our sins to be forgiven, and that means was the cross. When He intentionally allowed Himself to be falsely condemned and put to death on the cross, Jesus took upon Himself all of the sins of mankind. He had no sin of His own to pay for, so He was able to offer Himself as a substitute for us. To anyone who will humbly turn from their rebellion against Him, and seek to get right with Him, God offers Jesus’ substitutionary death as payment for their sins. If they will place their trust in Christ and become His disciple, God looks at Jesus’ death on the cross and says, “It is enough. Your sins are paid in full. You are now deemed righteous in my sight. I forgive every wrong you’ve ever done – past, present, and future.” That is the basis for God’s forgiveness. In Christ, God has forgiven the sins of everyone who has turned to Him in faith, and He has adopted them into His family.
Think about that. What Jesus Christ did on the cross was sufficient for the 100% morally perfect and totally holy, righteous, and just and God of the universe to completely forgive the sins of all believers of all time. How can you and I possibly be arrogant enough to say that it was not enough to for us to forgive one another?
Who is the person that you just cannot seem to bring yourself to forgive? . . . that perhaps you do not want to forgive? Do this. It has always worked for me. Get down on your knees. Close your eyes. Imagine yourself kneeling there at the foot of the cross. You aren’t going to want to, but make yourself look up at that cross. Look into the eyes of the One hanging there. And just try to tell Him that what He is doing is not enough. That it is still not enough for you to forgive your brother. That you require more payment than that. You can’t do it. You will break down and be humbled. It was enough. What Jesus did on the cross was enough. There is nothing that anyone could ever do to you that you could not forgive based on what Jesus did on their behalf on the cross. Whatever punishment they deserve, He’s already taken it upon Himself. There is nothing more to be paid. If you or I think otherwise, we are deceived. We are proud.
In the end, isn’t that often what unforgiveness comes down? Pride? Don’t let your silly human pride separate you from the liberation of forgiveness. It is at the core of true love for one another. We are God’s kids. He’s adopted each of us. And He doesn’t want us to treat each other with unforgiveness. So let us join with our big brother, the first-born son in this family, Christ Jesus Himself, and follow His example in what He has done and continues to do day in and day out for all of the rest of us in His family. He forgives us. And aren’t we thankful? Let’s make sure we extend that same love to one another.
Here it is — House Rule #6.
Forgive one another (always and completely), just as God has forgiven us, based on what Jesus did on the cross.
