House Rule #5 – actively build up one another

“Little children, let us not love with word or tongue but in deed and truth.” (1 John 3:18 )

Love is not passive. Love cannot and will not sit back and do nothing. If you love, you act on it. Love is the greatest motivating force to action known to mankind. Look at how Paul describes it. At its core . . .

“Love is patient. Love is kind.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)

How does love react? Patience. How does love act? Kindness. We can see this very clearly when we look at God Himself. God is love (1 John 4:8 & 16). So when we see how He acts, we know that is how love acts. Psalm 145:17 says “The Lord is righteous in all of His ways, and kind in all of His deeds.” All of His DEEDS. All of His ACTIONS. He is constantly doing kind deeds. They flow from Him, because He is love. Love is kind. Love acts. Love initiates. Kindness does not exist unless it is expressed in deed and truth. “God so loved the world that He GAVE . . .”

Where did we get the idea that we can passively sit back and think that we are a loving person. Love doesn’t sit back and passively think nice thoughts. Love acts. Love is not passive. The “one another” commands in the New Testament make this clear. Christ calls His family, His church, to act upon one another in a significant number of ways as a manifestation of their love for one another. Listen to this one given to us by the writer of Hebrews:

“Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good deeds; not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encourage one another, and all the more as we see the day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)

This is not a suggestion. It is a command. It is a house rule for God’s family. Look at it carefully. Meditate it through. It is a beautiful house rule that all of us who call ourselves disciples of Christ should devote ourselves to.

“Let us consider”, set our minds, focus our thoughts, direct our attention, to how we can act upon one another. And what is that action? We are “how to stir up”, provoke, cause one another to have a reaction. And what is that reaction? “to love and good deeds”, to want to demonstrate unconditional (agape) love and do good deeds. Now put it all together. We are to intentionally initiate with and upon each other for the purpose of making each other want to love more and do more good. Wow! Who doesn’t need that? We all need that. And Christ directs us to provide that to one another as part of His family.

“Not neglecting to meet together”. Love delights in meeting together. Love requires it. Look at the early church in Acts chapter 2. It is true that we can and should initiate with one another to love one another many other times throughout the week than just when we get together, but our times of meeting together are already dedicated to that purpose. That is when love has the greatest opportunity to pour out kindness on not just one brother or sister, or a few brothers and sisters, but on everyone who is there. How can I love on you if I don’t show up when it’s time for the church family to get together? Rather than neglecting to meet together, love makes it a priority.

“But encouraging one another”. In God’s family, encouragement is all of our responsibility to one another. If any one of us is discouraged, it is a family problem. Not that discouragement shouldn’t happen. It can and does. But encouragement should be constantly given. The Greek word Paul uses here means to come along side of a person and embolden them, empower them, fan the flames of faith alive within them, give them the courage to press on confidently in the obedience of faith. Love does that. Love wants that for those it loves. It wants its the one it loves to see God more clearly, trust Him more completely, and obey Him more fully. So rather than neglecting to meet together, love seizes its opportunities to meet together so that it can come alongside and encourage.

Can I be blunt? Our involvement in one another’s lives is usually too passive. Some of us are “shy” and so we don’t have many relationships in the first place. We are passive about evening getting to know people, let alone building them up. Others of us do not have any problem having lots of relationships, but we keep them shallow. We are passive when it comes to doing what needs to be done to build up others. Either way, it’s passivity. We justify our passivity by making excuses like “I’m too busy”, “I’m too shy”, “I don’t know how”, “I don’t feel comfortable”, “I’m too tired”, “I’m too hurt from past relationships”, etc. Let’s just be honest. Repeat after me. “I’m too selfish.” Or how about this one, “I don’t love you enough to take the risk.” Saying it that doesn’t feel good, does it. But it is true. Love initiates. If you and I do not initiate, we do not love.

But you and I don’t have to remain passive. We don’t have to remain selfish. We can become more like Christ. If we are in Him, His Spirit is in us working toward that end. We can learn to love, not just in good intentions but in affective actions. Don’t let yourself rest until you are taking active steps in this direction. No matter how well you love today, “excel still more.” (1 Thessalonians 4:9-10)

The day is drawing near. Our Savior’s return is imminent. When He does arrive, let’s be caught by Him actively loving one another.

“Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.” (1 John 3:18 )