To my brothers and sisters at the Rock –
I want you to imagine that before you graduated high school, you and your father worked out a plan for your future. Over time, the plan has changed as the Lord has moved in your heart and called you to higher things. Your father is immensely proud of you. You’ve decided to devote the rest of your life to serving the Lord, and you are trusting Him to lead you. You and your father have been executing your plan together, and the Lord is leading and confirming, and you are seeing things come together in neat ways, and it is starting to get exciting.
Sounds good, doesn’t it?
Now I want you to imagine that others are watching this take place from the outside, and they do not know what is going on. As they watch, there are things that they don’t understand. But rather than asking you what is going on, they jump to conclusions, and they assume, and form negative judgments about you and your character. And then, not to stop there, they share those judgments with others and shake their heads and ask each other, “What is wrong with <fill in your name>?” Imagine further that you find out about this as people, who assume that the rumors are true, make statements in your presence (or that of your father), or in Emails to you, which basically say, “What is wrong with you and when are you going to get your act together?” The first few times, you just think “Where did that come from?” But after it happens again and again, it starts to hurt deeply as you realize that people are gossiping about you – people you consider to be your friends. Nobody comes to you to find out the truth. And worst of all, nobody stops the gossip, which just continues to swirl around and affect more and more people.
All of a sudden that doesn’t sound so good, does it? In fact, it sounds evil, doesn’t it? How would you feel if this were happening to you? What would you want someone else to do on your behalf?
You and I know that this type of behavior would be sin. It is not at all how Christ instructs those of us in His family to interact. He tells His followers that arrogance, judgments, gossip, slander, and idle chatter are not to be practiced or received by any of us in His household. No unwholesome word is to proceed from our mouths. We are to assume the best in one another. We are not to receive gossip, but rather stop it in its tracks and send the offender back to make it right with their victim. This is the way of Christ – the way of love. It is patient and kind. It is not jealous, does not brag, is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly, does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account suffered. It does not rejoice in sin, but it rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
This is not the main point of this posting, but just so that you know — I am the father that I introduced to you in the first paragraph. My special princess, Sarah, is the child. The details of the “imagine if” are all true. This incident is currently taking place in our midst. Some have been proud and judged things they did not understand about decisions that the Lord has led Sarah and I to make regarding her life. Others have naively received those judgments, swallowed that gossip, and shared in the slander. Still others heard this unwholesome talk going on and did not receive it, to their credit. But though they were aware that it was swirling around in the family, they chose to do nothing about it.
Now,to be sure, most knew nothing about it and many would have done something had they known. Had I not been part of this one incident, I’d have probably not known about it myself. And that is what makes what I say next even more important. This incident is not alone. Though it is recent, and it has prompted my writing this note, it is only one of several such occurrences that have been floating among us. In fact, I’m only telling you of it in order to give you a real-life example of what I’m talking about. I’ve been aware of several others, and have been involved in bringing an end to some of them. We have a problem. We have not established ourselves in a deep understanding of, and practice of, the “House Rules.” And because of that, this sort of thing is too easily tolerated by us.
When I say, “the house rules”, I’m referring to the instructions that Christ has given us for how He wants the members of His family to relate. This includes the attitudes we should have toward one another, the responsibilities that we should assume for one another, and the manner in which we should treat one another.
So what do we do about it? What are the house rules? There are too many to list here, to be sure. But the Scriptures inform us where to start:
- Repent. Stop it . . . immediately. Ask the Spirit if you’ve been involved in judging another, if you’ve received gossip regarding another, or if you’ve let it happen in your presence without correcting it.
- Make it right. If you’ve offended, make amends without delay. Go to the one harmed and apologize. Do what you can to heal the hurt and provide reassurance.
- Shut it down. Don’t let it occur again in your presence. Determine that as far as it depends on you, this will not be allowed to happen again regarding any of your brothers and sisters in Christ.
- Dedicate ourselves to understanding and practicing the “house rules”. The New Testament is full of principles that we are to practice as part of loving one another the way Christ does. We must master them. For instance — we are family, we are devoted to one another, we’re patient with each other, we put up with one another, we protect one another’s’ reputations and do not tolerate judgment, criticism, or gossip regarding one another . . .period. If anyone has a question or concern, they will either (1) dismiss it, or (2) take it directly to the one they have it with and settle it together.
“ . . . speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.” (Ephesians 4:15-16)
Look at the powerful image in this instruction the apostle Paul gives us. “speaking the truth in love”, “fitted and held together by [our relationships]”, each person doing his/her part, the body of Christ grows and builds itself up “in love.” How we treat one another as members of God’s household has to do with the very core of our identity as the church of Jesus Christ. These are issues that Paul and the other apostles spent a lot of time dealing with in the earliest days of the church. Jesus said the supernatural power of God is made visible in our midst through (1) our love for one another, and (2) our unity with one another in following Him. If we allow Satan to come and and separate us through worldly interaction with one another, we forfeit a central part of who we are and why we are here.
The purpose of this post is to use a current event, which is part of a larger pattern, to instruct us and call for a renewed devotion to practicing Christ’s “house rules.” We’ve been given a set of principles to live by in relationship with one another, and we must be unwilling to settle for anything less. It is time that we repent, my brothers and sisters, and no longer treat one another nor relate with one another the way that the world does. We used to be that way ourselves, and we could not help it. But now that we are in Christ, we’ve been washed, we’ve been justified, and we’re being transformed into Christ’s likeness. So let’s put off the old ways. They are no longer acceptable. Through the freedom we have in Christ, and the power we have in the Spirit, we can put on love.
Many of you already live by these principles, and are saying “Amen” right now. Good! Let’s instruct our brothers and sisters and assume the responsibility to help these practices permeate our community. And to our wonderful Savior and Master be any and all glory from the results.
If you have a concern about anything I’ve shared in this document, come share it with me face-to-face, my brother, my sister. We’ll work it out and maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace